Whose Face is That?
by hm91
Summary: The wig seems to fool most people, but what about a security system with facial recognition? How will the gang keep the Hannah secret from being exposed?


Jackson Stewart leafed through the stack of mail, offering an out loud commentary for the benefit of Robbie Ray and Miley. "What do we have here? Renewal notice for dad's Field and Stream subscription."

"It's hard to go hunting and fishing in Malibu, so I have to read about 'em in a magazine" commented Robbie Ray.

"Malibu Chamber of Commerce Coupon Pack."

"Maybe that new boutique in the mall included a 20 off coupon?" said Miley.

"Christmas card to Uncle Earl marked return to sender."

"Did Uncle Earl switch trailers again without telling us?" asked Robbie Ray.

"Would that be such a big loss?" offered Miley.

"Letter from Seaview High"

"Let me see that" Robbie Ray reached for the letter in Jackson's hand.

"Gee dad, are you sure you want to spoil this happy family moment?"

"Worried about your grades again Jackson?" said Miley.

"Let's remember who was failing biology last time." Jackson countered.

"Enough you two." Letter in hand, Robbie Ray proceeded to open and read it. "It's not about either of y'all's grades." Miley and Jackson gave a collective sigh of relief.

"Your school wants to inform all parents about a security system they have installed. Thanks to school board member Henry Dewitt-"

"That's Ashley's father" interjected Miley.

"and local company SecurePro Systems, Seaview High will be testing security cameras and facial recognition software. The same state-of-the-art technology being used at airports will now help keep the school safe." Robbie Ray continued.

"But weren't the Columbine and Vermont shooters kids without any previous criminal records?" asked Miley.

"You are very perceptive, Miles. But I suppose one can never to be too cautious when it comes to school safety. And there are some strange people here in California that we don't have in Tennessee." Robbie Ray smiled at his daughter.

"But won't this software recognize Miley and Hannah Montana are the same person?" asked Jackson. Miley's jaw dropped; she hadn't thought of that. A wig could not fool computer software.

Robbie Ray shook his head. "Now don't be worrying your sister unnecessarily. Even if the system shares photos with airport systems, Miley travels on planes as herself, not Hannah." Daddy was right, thought Miley, remembering her recent trip to Florida

Unknown to any of the Stewart family, Jackon's concern was a real risk. The programmers who wrote the facial recognition software has scanned a number of celebrity photos into the system during testing, including teen pop sensation Hannah Montana.

* * *

Oliver "Locker Man" Oken was assisting Greg with his locker. As a 9th grader, Oliver didn't get asked very often to share his locker-opening talents at Seaview High. But there were a few fellow 9th graders that remembered the "Locker Man" from Seaview Middle School. 

Oliver tried his patented fist and elbow sequence on the face of the locker, but it failed to open. "This locker is jammed full of something. What do you have in there, Greg?"

"Remember that commercial where the kid's mom gives him a Pop Tart every day for breakfast? But instead of eating the Pop Tart, he gets a Toaster Strudel from a friend and puts the Pop Tart in his locker?"

"What are you trying to say, Greg? This locker is full of Pop Tarts?" Oliver asked while he jiggled the locker latch in a very precise sequence of small motions—up-up-right-down-left-down… Snap! Crash! The locker spilled is contents of rotten fruit and moldy sandwiches, knocking Oliver to the ground and smothering him.

"No, just all my sack lunches. My mom packs me a sandwich and fruit everyday. But instead I eat the cafeteria food my friends buy." Greg answered.

"I think I am going to retch," exclaimed Oliver. "Why don't you throw these lunches away instead of putting in them in your locker?"

"I can't lie to my mom. She tells me 'Don't let your food go to waste.'"

Suddenly a male teacher was beside the two teens. "Mr. Oken, are you responsible for this mess?"

"Me sir?" asked Oliver.

Greg gave Oliver an apology shrug. "It was Oliver sir. I saw the whole thing."

"Mr. Oken-- Get your face washed up and go to Principal Daniels' office. I'll meet you there shortly. I need to find a janitor to clean up this mess." Oliver meekly complied.

* * *

A while later, Oliver found himself seated on a bench outside the principal's office. The principal was currently in a meeting, and while he waited Oliver could just overhear what was going on inside. 

Mr. Srinivas, CEO of SecurePro Systems, and Mr. Dewitt, a major investor in SecurePro, were demonstrating the new security software for Seaview High Principal Daniels. Mr. Dewitt's daughter Ashley was also present.

"Mr. Daniels, our security system is so easy to use. We can access it directly from this computer in your office." Principal Daniels was seated at his desk. Mr. Srinivas was leaned over the principal's right shoulder to use the computer mouse.

"Here is some footage our cameras captured this morning. Students milling about, chatting before their first class of the day." The camera footage was playing back full screen on the computer. There was no audio.

"Our cameras don't capture audio; even high school students deserve privacy" explained Mr. Srinivas. He nodded at Ashley politely. Henry Dewitt frowned as if perhaps he did not agree with the notion that high school students deserve privacy. Ashley impatiently looked at her watch. She was waiting anxiously for this meeting to end. After the meeting, she'd get her daily spending allowance from her father.

"I'll just click this scan button here." A series of small green rectangles superimposed themselves on the moving picture. The quickly zoomed in on student faces, then blinked and disappeared. The camera footage started to run at fast-forward speed, with green rectangles still finding faces. "Did you copy that from CSI?" said Ashley.

"I assure you this is the real deal, young lady." Mr. Srinivas grinned. "In just a few minutes, our software processes the entire camera feed. Each face will be checked against our database. Of course, there won't be any matches, because I am certain there aren't any suspicious persons hiding in the Seaview High study body."

The computer beeped twice. The right-hand side of the monitor displayed the face of a Seaview student. Her curly brown hair fell past her shoulders and was parted on the left. Blue eyes flanked soft, rounded nose. Her mouth was half open; clearly the camera had caught her in the middle of a conversation. The left-hand side of the monitor displayed a publicity photo of a well-known teen celebrity. Her straight blonde hair fell past her shoulders. It was parted in the middle and the bangs covered her forehead. Black eyeliner outlined her blue eyes, which flanked soft, rounded nose. Her lips were closed in a pursed smile. A message across the bottom of the screen read "99 match".

"That's Hannah Montana!" Ashley exclaimed, referring to the photo on the left.

Outside the office, at the mention of Hannah Montana, Oliver jumped off the bench and pressed his each to the door.

Inside the office, Mr. Srinivas cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Our programmers loaded some celebrity photos into the database for testing purposes, I am truly sorry--"

"Wait," interrupted Mr. Dewitt. "The security system says this Seaview High student is a match for a famous celebrity?"

"That's Miley Stewart!" Ashley exclaimed, referring to the photo on the right. "Are you saying Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana are the same person?"

"Our software is state-of-the-art," answered Mr. Srinivas.

"I don't know what that means, but it looks broken to me. There is no way Miley Stewart is Hannah Montana. Miley Stewart is so uncool!"

"Excuse me, young lady-" began Mr. Srinivas.

"Are you accusing my daughter lying?" interrupted Mr. Dewitt.

"No. No, Mr. Dewitt." Mr. Srinivas raised his voice an octave, as he did not want to offend such an important investor.

"In that case, it seems your state-of-the-art software has made a mistake. And this is the sort of mistake I should share with the other investors."

"Please Mr. Dewitt. Let's not be hasty. We are already using this software at 3 major airports. This is a minor glitch. I'll have Evan get right on the problem. You know Evan is a programming prodigy."

Outside the office, Oliver was interrupted by the arrival of the teacher who had sent him to the principal's office. "Mr. Oken, are you eavesdropping on the principal?"

Oliver stood up and started to stutter a reply. "Oh… um… there was a sudden ringing in my ear, sir? Yes, a ringing in my ear. And pressing my ear up against the wooden door stopped the ringing?"

"You are lucky we don't allow corporeal punishment here, Mr. Oken. Otherwise I'd slap you alongside the head and you'd know what ringing in your ear really sounds like." The teacher gave the principal's door a glance from top to bottom. "Principal Daniels is busy and it seems to me you were trying to eavesdrop on him. Plus your previous infraction, that is detention for a week." The teacher reached out to Oliver holding a detention slip. Oliver reluctantly accepted it and placed it in his pocket.

"Now return to class, Mr. Oken."

* * *

Outside Ms. Kunkle's class, Oliver glanced at the note for Miley in the palm of his left hand. He opened the classroom door. Both Miley and Lilly looked up and gave him a "what's going on" look. "Ms. Stewart and Ms. Truscott, eyes on your own assignment, please," Ms Kunkle reminded. 

Oliver casually dropped it onto Miley's desk with his left hand; he simultaneously coughed into his right hand to distract Ms. Kunkle. He added an explanation to his distraction. "Sorry I am late, M'am. Just checking with the school nurse about this cough."

"Very well, Mr. Oken." Oliver took his customer seat in front of Lilly.

When Ms. Kunkle's attention shifted elsewhere, Mily unfolded and read Oliver's note: _Security system is going to expose your secret_.

* * *

Miley, Oliver, and Lilly gathered in the Stewart's living room after school. Robbie Ray was handling some business for Hannah and would not be home until dinnertime. 

"Jackson was right," said Miley.

"Did I hear someone compliment me?" Jackson poked his head down the stairs.

"My secret is hanging on a slim thread," said Miley.

"The slim thread of Ashley's stupidity," said Oliver.

"By golly you're right, Oliver." Lilly turned to Miley. "The security system says you're Hannah Montana. But Ashley is too dumb to believe it. And because the adults believe Ashley, they think the software is broken."

"But not for long," said Oliver. "Once this programmer, Evan, checks out the software, they'll realize it is not broken."

"And everyone will find out my secret!" finished Miley.

"What about your dad?" suggested Lilly.

"Dad's not here right now. And they could be checking the software at any time, this afternoon probably. Besides, even if I called him, how could he help?"

"We need a big enough distraction to keep the company from working on their own security system," said Oliver.

Miley smiled. "They say some celebrities can stop traffic. Let's see if Hannah Montana can stop an office of computer programmers from working."

"Why would a bunch of computer geeks care about Hannah Montana?" asked Lilly.

"My dear Lilly," began Jackson. "What non-celebrity-obsessed country do you come from? Cause the rest of us are here in the good ol' U S of A."

"I am going to need you to drive, Jackson," directed Miley. "Oliver, find the address of this company on the Internet. Lilly, let's find something to wear."

"Sure, leave me to do the research while you get dressed," groaned Oliver.

"Have I failed to notice a recent improvement in your fashion sense, Oliver?" teased Lilly.

"Mike Standley dresses freaky freaky fresh, if I do say so."

"Mike Standley borrowed his wardrobe from Hannah's stage hand," retorted Lilly.

"Enough you two. Oliver, I do need your help, and I have a disguise in mind, and not Mike Standley." Miley smiled mischievously.

* * *

Jackson's blue convertible pulled into visitor parking at SecurePro Systems. The company's headquarters was a low-rise building of white concrete and shiny green glass. 

Hannah, seated in the passenger seat, was wearing a green headscarf over her wig, lest she be recognized during the drive. Her hair styled straight, Hannah was wearing a white jacket and matching oversized belt over a green stretch top. Lola had advised Hannah to dress more conservatively than she might for a concert performance; although it wasn't clear Lola listened to her own advice. Lola, in her customary lavender wig, was wearing a blue mini cardigan over a pink jumper.

"Jackson, you'll have to stay with the car. If someone saw us together, it might restart Jacksannah rumors."

"I learned my lesson, Miles. But if they have a cute receptionist, could you get her phone number?"

"Oliver, are you ready to be Hannah's computer security expert?"

"Codin' Oken is ready for action." Oliver was dressed in white collared shirt. His hair was slicked back, exposing his ears, and he was wearing a pair of brown, horn-rimmed glasses. He flipped up the collar of his shirt.

"You are such a doofus, " said Lola. Hannah shot her a look. "But a doofus we all love." Lola smiled.

Hannah, sans headscarf, and her friends marched through the revolving door and into the lobby. The receptionist, a pleasant middle-aged woman, was seated behind a wood-façade counter. Lola thought she might make a sassy remark about Jackson's dating prospects, but swallowed her words.

The receptionist stood to greet them with a big grin. "Hannah Montana! Is it really you? My daughter is one of your biggest fans! Even I like your music."

Hannah gave a stylish toss of her head. "I always like to meet my fans of all ages." Hannah smiled and her blue eyes sparkled. "But I am actually here on business. I am interested in a new security system for my mansion."

Oliver looked confused. "Hannah doesn't have a mansion-" Lola elbowed him. "-a secure mansion that is." Oliver corrected himself, carefully enunciating his words, as he was prone to do when he wanted someone to forget what he had just said. "Which is why we are here at…" He looked around the lobby for the name of the company, but couldn't find it.

"SecurePro Systems," offered the receptionist.

"Yes, SecurePros Systems." Oliver nodded.

"Well, this is an unexpected surprise. But I am sure our CEO will want to meet you, and he can arrange a tour." The receptionist picket up the handset of her phone and dialed the extension of Mr. Srinivas.

A few moments later, an Indian man in a business suit entered the lobby. The receptionist introduced him. "This is our CEO, Mr. Srinivas."

"Welcome, Ms. Montana, " began the CEO. "It is quite a coincidence seeing you here. Your name came up this morning in conjunction with another project my company is working on. But nevermind that—you are here about a security system-"

"Mr. Srinivas" Hannah interrupted. "My name came up earlier today? Care to explain?"

"It's rather embarrassing actually. We were testing some computer software at a local public high school. A glitch in the facial recognition program caused it to report that you were at the school."

"Do you think I go to a public high school?" asked Hannah, in a tone of voice that implied the answer was no.

"Certainly not."

"Mr. Srinivas, did your facial matching software find Lola Luftnagle at the school?" Before Lola completed her question, Hannah gave her an angry stare.

"Who is Lola Luftnagle?" asked the CEO.

"That would be me: Lola Luftnagle, international jetsetter and heiress. Bam!" Lola snapped her arms out, palms held open, in a 'look at me' gesture. Unfortunately, her left hand knocked a container of pencils off the top of the receptionist's counter. The receptionist ducked behind the counter to pick them up. "Oops?"

"No, the software did not find you at the school." Mr. Srinivas clasped his hands together as he emphasized the word 'you'. He turned his attention back to Hannah. "Ms. Montana, our best programmer Evan is working on the glitch. He is a programming prodigy."

"I have my own programming prodigy." Hannah pointed over her shoulder.

"Lola Luftnagle?" Mr. Srinivas asked incredulously.

"No. That would be me. I program the program, I code the code, and after work I eat pie a la mode!" Oliver rapped.

Mr. Srinivas raised his eyebrow, but then his phone buzzed. "Excuse me, this call will take but a moment."

While the CEO was answering the call, Lola whispered to Hannah. "Evan is the one Oliver mentioned. We need to talk to him, to find out what he knows and get him to fix the glitch without exposing your secret." Hannah nodded.

"Apologies." Mr. Srinivas slipped his phone back into his pocket.

"Mr. Srinivas, if Evan is your best programmer, I simply have to speak to him about the security of my mansion."

"Well, he is very busy," began Mr. Srinivas.

The receptionist, having returned all the pencils and the container to the top of the counter, interrupted: "But Mr. Srinivas, Evan is a huge Hannah Montana fan."

"Alright, I'll introduce you to Evan. But please be considerate of his time."

* * *

"Evan…" called Mr. Srinivas. Evan, a young man of 19, swiveled his chair around to face his boss and guests. He immediately recognized Hannah Montana, and a smile crossed his face. 

Hannah noted that Evan resembled Hollywood teen actor Seth Adkins, albeit a couple of inches taller and his hair a shade lighter. Evan was dressed in light blue polo shirt and a pair of causal beige pants.

"He's cute," gushed Lola. "And he so isn't dressed like a computer geek."

"Then why did you insist that I wear this?" objected Oliver, pointing to his dress shirt and nerd glasses.

Arriving at Evan's cubicle, Mr. Srinivas made the introductions, and then excused himself to attend to other business. He instructed Evan to escort Hannah and her friends back to reception once they were finished.

"I realized I am a few years older that you and all, but I truly am a fan, Ms. Montana," Evan began.

"Please call me Hannah."

"The other programmers and I, we each added celebrity photos to the facial recognition software. They are older than I am-- 'baby genius' they call me. They chose celebrities like rapper Snoop Dogg and soccer player David Beckham, but I selected you Hannah."

Evan held up his hands. "But don't think I'm a stalker or anything. I finished high school in 2 years, and then I zipped through my Bachelor's degree before I turned 18. Now I have this job, and well, I kind feel I missed out on being a normal high school teenager—football games, prom, crushes." Evan blushed.

Evan was speaking very fast. He must be nervous, thought Hannah. "I am flattered. "

"Enough chit-chat," whispered Lola. "Find out if he knows about-- you know-- the thing."

"What thing would that be?" blurted out Oliver. Lola glared at him.

"Mr. Srinivas mentioned your security software 'found' me at a local school?"

"Apparently it matched your face to some girl at the school. I've been trolling the source code for hours, but I can't find a problem. I was just about to give up and take a look at the video clip."

"Wait—you haven't seen the girl at the school yet?" asked Lola.

Evan grinned. "I don't mean to brag, but usually when someone tells me there is a bug in the software, I can read the source code and the find the cause of the problem. I don't need to do debugging the way the other programmers do."

"Cute computer guy say what?" said Hannah.

"She means we don't understand what you are saying" Lola explained.

"Speak for yourself," said Oliver.

"Think about this way," said Evan. "Suppose someone told you to solve a puzzle, and they offered you a hint. Most people would take the hint and use it to solve the puzzle. But me, I would try to solve the puzzle first, without the hint."

"So the video clip is the hint and the puzzle is the problem with the security software," guessed Hannah.

"Exactly. And don't think I didn't hear you say I was cute." Now it was Hannah's turn to blush. "Anyway, I think I'm stuck. So I'm going to watch the video clip to see if it can help me debug the software."

"What's the hurry to watch the clip? Why is everyone in such a hurry? We have a saying in Tennessee: don't plant the spring corn 'til the oak leaves are as big as a squirrel's ear."

"Um, he is getting paid to fix the problem." Oliver pointed out.

"You're not helping," growled Lola.

"Mr. Srinivas says you are interested in a security system for your home. I can use the video clip from the school to demo our software. "

"That's very kind, but…"

"But Hannah wants to take you on a dinner date, tonight!" exclaimed Lola.

"Really? I'd love to. It wouldn't have to be a real date. I know there's a age difference between us. But I'd love to go to dinner with you, Hannah."

"Excuse us a moment, Evan." Hannah and Lola took a few steps away from Evan.

"A dinner date?" asked Hannah.

"We can let him see that clip. We need to get him away from his computer. Besides, you think he's cute."

"Ok. But how is Hannah going to take someone on a dinner date in Jackson's car?"

"I hadn't thought of that."

"Well you better find a limo while I stall for time with Evan."

Lola turned to go back to the lobby. Hannah turned back to Evan. "So Evan, what's your favorite song that I sing?"

"_Who Said_. I really like the lyric about being 10 feet tall."

* * *

Lola found Jackson outside waiting beside his blue convertible. 

"Hi Lilly. Did Miley send you out with the receptionist's phone number?"

"I think the receptionist is little too mature for you Jackson. But I can give you one of her pencils."

"Sure. I am always losing pens and pencils, and my sunglasses, and my wallet… Wait a minute—where are my car keys?" Jackson put his hand in his jacket pocket. "Lookie there- they're in my pocket. Along with my wallet."

"Jackson, Miley wants to take one of the programmers on a dinner date tonight. He hasn't seen the video clip of her at school yet. We have to get him away from his computer so he doesn't use the software and find out that Miley is Hannah."

"Let me guess—Miley wants me to give her a ride?"

"No. Miley isn't going on the date. Hannah is. So we need a limo."

"Dang Flabbit! What is that girl thinking?" Lilly decided not to tell Jackson the date was her idea. "Even though this is Malibu, limos don't grow on trees."

Jackson ruffled his hair. "I'm gonna call dad; he'll know what to do."

Lola listened to Jackson's side of the conversation. "I know you are in the middle of a business meeting… Miley's gotten herself into trouble again, and she needs you to send a limo to this address." Jackson gave the address.

"What do you mean, I am not the one that's in trouble. You don't think I would ask for a limo just to impress a girl?"

Lola grabbed the phone from Jackson. "Mr. Stewart, this is Lilly. I'm sorry, but Jackson is telling the truth. I don't have time to explain, but we are trying keep someone from finding out Miley's secret."

"Alright, Lilly," responded Robbie Ray. "If you and Jackson agree on something, it must be important. And after that trip to Florida, I told Miley I would trust her more often. I'll call the limo."

"Thanks, Mr. Stewart." Lola handed the phone back to Jackson. "Thanks Jackson. You can be a nice guy sometimes."

"Now why can't my dates say that to me sometimes?" wondered Jackson.

* * *

A short time later, Hannah and Evan were dining at Chez Henri. They had no trouble getting a table because the Maitre D' immediately recognized Hannah. Hannah had insisted on a table for her friends as well, and Lola and Oliver were seated at table just within earshot of Hannah and Evan. 

Evan cut a bit-sized piece of steak with the knife in his right hand. With his fork in his left hand, prongs pointed down, he stabbed the piece. Then he placed the steak in his mouth and chewed carefully.

"You use British style table manners, its adorable," observed Hannah.

Evan dabbed his mouth with his napkin. "Usually I don't. But I am trying to remember everything my mom told me. After all, I am eating at a fancy restaurant with a famous celebrity." Evan grinned. "I know this isn't real date, because I am over 18, and it wouldn't be right. But this has been a lot of fun; it's to fun to live a little".

"Life's what you make it."

"So let's make it rock," Evan finished the lyric.

Hannah laughed, then turned serious. "You were telling me that because you were so smart, you didn't have time to be normal teenager. Most teen pop stars don't have time to be normal teenagers either."

"What was I thinking blabbing about my life? Of course you know what it is like to give up your life for a career."

"Sometimes it's nice to get away from the fame and the paparazzi and be a normal teenager." Hannah took a deep breath. "Maybe your security software isn't broken."

At the other table, Lola gasped. "She's not going to tell him, is she?" She whispered to Oliver.

"You didn't come to our office today because you are looking for a security system for your mansion," guessed Evan.

Hannah shook her head. "No. Maybe I was at that school or maybe not. But celebrities deserve a private life, too."

"And we shouldn't have put those celebrities photos, of you or anyone else, into the facial recognition system."

"I'm so glad you understand."

"I'll go back to the office and delete all those photos from the database. I'll tell Mr. Srinivas the software is fixed."

"And will you delete the video clip without looking at it?"

"I promise, Hannah."

At the other table, Oliver told Lola: "It looks like your plan worked."

"But the cost was pretty high. What do you think is going to happen to Lola's reputation having dinner someone dressed like you?" Lola gestured to Oliver's computer geek wardrobe.

"Hey, Mike Standley will go on a date will Lola and your reputation will be restored."

* * *

Later that evening, everyone was back in the Stewart's living room. Miley, Lilly, Oliver, and Jackson had just finished telling Robbie Ray what happened. 

"Jackson and Lilly didn't tell me about the date when they asked for the limo." Robbie Ray shook his finger, "And don't think the fact Oliver and Lilly were there means you had a chaperone." Miley fake frowned. "Still, everything worked out. You done good, bud."

"I am so thankful that everyone helped out to keep the Hannah secret." Miley turned to Oliver. "Oliver uncovered the problem with the security system recognizing me". She looked to her brother. "Jackson took us to the company's office with almost no complaints." She looked at Lilly. "And the date with Evan was Lilly's idea. Evan turned out to be a warm and caring person, and I know he did what he promised to do."

"Oh no." Oliver groaned.

"What is it?"

"I just realized I skipped my first day of detention this afternoon!"


End file.
